I was reading the forum post titled "What Do You Love Most About Femmes?". Obviously, there were going to be some generalizations flying about. I knew that from the start, but I couldn't help myself. It couldn't be as bad as the "Open Love-Letters to Femmes" post, which included several lines about "thank you for letting me protect you from the cruelties of the word". Protect me? Bitch, I'm taller than you and weigh thirty pounds more. If anything needs curbstomping, I think my eensy little pumps can do it as well as your great big Docs can.
You know those email forwards that are lists of why dogs are better than women, or chocolate is better than men, or any noun is better than any other noun only with an extra helping of sexism? You know the sort. Someone basically wrote their own, regarding the preciousness of darling little femmes.
Here's a few reasons why butches love femmes...
[cut for length because it was seriously long and stupid --Aerin]
-They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
-How cute they look when they sleep
-How cute they are when they eat
-The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end makes it all worth while
-the way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
-How cute they are when they argue
-the way they smile
- the way they fall into your arms when they cry
-then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
-The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
-then the way they apologize when it does hurt . (even though we don't admit it)!
-the way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.....
Okay, most of those are trite, general sentimentalities that could apply to anyone. Yes, it's very cute when your partner smiles, eats, sleeps, drinks beer and curses just like a little grownup, etc. A few of these, however, made me wonder who these butches are dating. They're cute when they hit you, and you have to pretend it doesn't hurt or you'll lose all your mannish points? They're so cute when they argue with you? I've been in a few relationships, and never when my partner and I are arguing have I gone "Aw, he/she looks so adorable when he/she is pointing out my logical fallacies!"
And what is all this about crying? My ex probably saw me cry a half dozen times in our 4 years together. Butches of the internet, please, acknowledge that just as not all of you are the same, not all femmes are delicate flowers who require tear-sopping from the handkerchief you gallantly whip from your hipster blazer pocket.
Goddamn. Now I have to go out into the wilderness and shoot a moose, just to prove myself. Look what you jerks made me do. You're just lucky you're so cute when you argue.